You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
