if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
