Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
