dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize