He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
