At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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