He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the day after is always just damage control
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
