At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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