it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
