she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
it's great music for shaving your balls
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
