remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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