So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
