you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
