That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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