Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
