we're blogging at a bar
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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