I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
