So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
