and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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