I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Terrible idea I love it
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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