I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
