i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
