Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize