he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
