whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
