I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
