When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
