he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
