she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
