Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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