hell yes lets make some ravioli
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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