Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
