We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
