It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You dont lie about slip and slides
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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