dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
