Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Randomize
