Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
