I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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