Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
