Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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