I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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