i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
