Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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