if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
