You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
