even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
