Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
