She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
