You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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