Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
