I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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