toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
