I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize