she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
