i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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