i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
