You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
