in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You were trust falling into bushes
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
