It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
