Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
