He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
