btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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